Hello. My name is Holly and I have been the victim of cyberbullying.
You may be expecting me to continue by recounting an experience I had when I was younger, as cyberbullying is thought to be most prevalent with teens and young adults. But let’s face it, the platforms on which most cyberbullying occurs did not exist when I was young. No, I experienced cyberbullying recently, as a middle-aged woman.
You may now be expecting me to continue by explaining how I was attacked on social media while sharing my political or religious views. Wrong again. My attack happened “anonymously” and through a professional platform. Cyberbullying is not limited to the young, public figures, or even the uneducated. Rather, this type of cruelty is happening on an equal opportunity basis and is often unprovoked.

By definition, cyberbullying occurs when someone uses technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person by sending, posting, or sharing negative or harmful content. This clinical definition does little to explain the hurt experienced by so many kids and an increasing number of adults, as cyberbullying is occurring within all age groups. In its 2017 study on online harassment, Pew found that approximately four in ten U.S. adults have personally experienced online harassment, with a quarter of the respondents finding the experience very or extremely upsetting. This leads us to ask, how is cyberbullying an issue with the adult population when this age group is responsible for teaching their own children about the harm associated with this behavior? Is cyberbullying among adults a result of ignorance or arrogance?
Cyberbullying among kids is something we as parents (and educators) fear. We never want our children to be in a situation where they are intentionally made to feel bad about themselves or their accomplishments, nor do we fathom our own children being the perpetrators. In an effort to do our part to prevent cyberbullying, we preach kindness, good digital citizenship, and communicating appropriately and respectfully through digital channels. We stress the damage cyberbullying can cause by sharing statistics and stories related to this type of inappropriate and unnecessary treatment. But are we modeling appropriate behavior ourselves? When we are interacting with others online, are we making decisions based on what we know is right, or are we letting our own insecurities and arrogance cloud that judgment, resulting in us saying and doing things we would be embarrassed for our kids to see? Are we allowing keyboard courage to degrade into keyboard cowardice?
September is national digital citizenship month and it is a great time for each of us to reflect on our own practices and the example we are setting for our children. As a former district tech leader preparing lessons on digital citizenship, I would often reference The Grandma Rule; do not post anything online you would not want your grandma to see. This digital citizenship month, I challenge each of you as parents and professionals to practice The Kid Rule; do not say anything to anyone online that you would not want your own children (or your students) to read. Hopefully, in doing so, we adults can check any tendencies we may have to exercise unnecessary cruelness to others. Cyberbullying/online harassment is never okay and it is never justified. Whether it stems from ignorance or arrogance, it not only harms the victim but the reputation of the guilty individual as well. Let’s take steps to be better for others, ourselves, and our kids.
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